Mark Edward Samulski was born April 19, 1976. He was my older brother who walked me into nursery school every day to make sure it was safe, and eventually dropped me off at middle school in the most embarrassing ways he could imagine. In 1992, he died in a tragic car accident. I was twelve years old. In one instant, I realized that nothing matters more in life than the people you love...
It was a lot to integrate as a young woman just crossing the threshold towards adult life. The grief of that loss shaped me in ways I am still unraveling. Mark's death was a terrible, beautiful gift. Life is so precious, and we are all so very fragile and incredibly fortunate to be alive. I am grateful to have realized at a young age that the person in front of me, whoever and however they may be, is the most valuable part of living.
Mark's best friend growing up was Andy Kwon, and he became my brother in stead. Andy was there for me just by being there- kind and true. He kept a little bit of Mark alive for me, and I for him. A few weeks ago, Andy died suddenly while on vacation with his wife and children. It was a full circle moment. I went home to kneel at my brother's grave and then crossed the street to attend the funeral of his best friend.
There are no words that can fill the space of loss. After a while, even our deepest feelings pale in comparison to what we are experiencing. There is just so much more than we can possibly express or understand. These are the moments when our hearts break open fully and there is nothing else but love. Let's live like that- totally surrendered to love- everyday. Who knows how long we have? I promise that the details and context of life quickly become irrelevant. Whoever the person is in front of you, and however they may be, just love them. With that gentleness we make each day new and each moment whole, opening the way for our constant rebirth...
When life brings you a change you are not prepared for, use this practice to soften towards the chaos and release into the OVERFLOW.
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